–Parismita Bora
Sigmund Freud, one of the renowned psychoanalytical theorists, denotes the term narcissism as “an excessive degree of self-esteem or self-involvement that itself brings destruction to human beings.”
Modern society is in a sense based on uncertainty and unpredictability. Exactly the concept of “modern man” is way too complex than the society where they exist. From our very childhood, we are shaped according to the norms of society. To a certain age, we undoubtedly follow everything as our parents dictate us, but the real question arises when we see the bigger picture that we have never seen before. Till that day we don’t even know that the world is not that simple as we are taught. That is the day we come across these complex terms that stay beside us like our shadow until the cruel clutches of death pick us up. Among them, narcissism is so common. This concept seems like self-love but in the true sense, it is self-sabotaging. In Greek mythology there we find a name Narcissus and the term narcissism is named after this mythological aura.
Who is Narcissus?
Narcissus was known for his unravished beauty in Greek mythology. He was the son of the River God Cephissus and the Nymph Liriope. Ovid in his “Metamorphoses, Book all” pinpointed that Narcissus’ mother was told by the blind Tiresias about her son’s long life who would never recognise himself. Narcissus was so much in love with himself that he even rejected nymph Echo. The ultimate tragic irony lies here that this son of the River God was so blind in his beauty that he killed himself while he had seen his own shadow in the river thinking of someone else there.
Narcissism and We
Who are the narcissists
Sigmund Freud, one of the renowned psychoanalytical theorists, denotes the term narcissism as “an excessive degree of self-esteem or self-involvement that itself brings destruction to human beings.” Primarily, emotionally immature persons suffer from this ‘modern illness’. It seems to be a form of emotional immaturity. That Greek superstition of Narcissus was regarded as unlucky or even fatal. But, nowadays we either suffer from this fatality or we become the victim of it. Both directly or indirectly our society is stylized by this excessive self-admiration of human beings. Almost we all occasionally become ‘narcissists’ to some extent. It’s quite simple for the human psyche to think more of ownself. The problem arises when a person is unable to balance this sense of ‘grandiosity’ with the needs of others. A narcissistic personality is developed by the environment where he /she grows up because of the mismatching parental crisis, overprotection, overcare as well as neglect. On the other hand, both genetic and neurobiotic causes are prominent. Sometimes, a narcissist is found to inherit such kind characteristics while the interrelations between the brain and behaviour and thinking play a dominant role in shaping a narcissistic personality.
Symptoms of narcissism
It is highly noticeable that narcissism influences males more than females and these narcissistic traits of a person often develop during their teens or early adulthood. In some cases, as maturity touches the mind these traits automatically vanish. But in most cases, it is vice versa. Such minds remain immature. Their age cannot define them. The constant attention-seeking and preoccupation of unrealistic fantasies of success, power and beauty make such persons mentally sick. Such people just act entitled and create a blind aura of themselves and they don’t try to come out from their established patterns. They start to believe them as the one and can only associate with equal people. On the other hand, as they feel superior and taking the advantage of it they try to monopolize conversations and belittle others whenever they get a chance. The high degree of manipulative attitude and changing behaviour are highly relevant to a narcissist. In their cases, they can be extremely sensitive. They cannot tolerate even the slightest criticism and any kind of disagreement. They assume it as a personal attack. But, they lack empathy towards others. They can easily blame anyone if things don’t go their way. In a way, they are very selfish, demanding and patronizing. A narcissist’s way of thinking and behaving in every area of life remains the same. In work, friendships, love relations and most importantly even in the family too they show their so-called patterns. They show a different kind of unhealthy attitude that the whole environment becomes chaotic. The only way to cope up with a narcissist is to go along with their demands so that their rage and coldness cannot bother you.
Narcissism and contemporary society
Last but not the least, we can relate how we too sometimes deal with ‘modern Narcissuses’ in our day to day life. To protect us from the power plays of such ‘undisputed stars ‘ we should first create healthy boundaries. Their ‘my way or highway’ kind of highly egotistical fatality can create unhealthy situations in their surroundings. But they seem unaware of Others’ hustle. Ultimately the whole society gets affected by this egotistical self-admiration of oneself. At present time a large number of people suffer from it which the Medical Science terms as “Narcissist Personality Disorder” or simply NDP. But there is a problem that the people who suffer from this personality disorder never accept it as an illness. Among the ten personality disorders, narcissism is one and it can encourage to grow other disorders too along with it like anxiety, bipolar disorder, stress and all.
Conclusion
We often think that a narcissist born like this or is created. Sometimes it is genetic as mentioned earlier but in most cases is the outcome of the surrounding. Though it seems very fewer numbers of people suffer from this aggressive self-centred ness out of the world population, it’s highly a matter of thought. Not only a psychologist but we must also help them to come out of their idealised image through compassion and an open mind. But we must keep in mind the healthy boundary of us.
A young intellect and literary enthusiast, Parismita Bora is a post graduate in English literature from Assam University, Silchar, Assam. For last few years, she has been keenly associated with teaching as well. Her other work in trikaal is here.